Sarah Everard's death opened the floodgates of women who want to be heard, rather than told to 'be better'

• Sarah Everard’s death in the UK has sparked attention around violence against women.
• Many women who experience violence don’t report because they “didn’t think it would help.”
• It’s up to the government, police, and men to make changes so that women feel safer. 
• Lauren Crosby Medlicott is a freelance journalist in Wales. 
• This is an opinion column. The thoughts expressed are those of the author. 
• See more stories on Insider’s business page.

On March 3, Sarah Everard, age 33, left a friend’s house in London around 9 pm wearing brightly-colored clothing and talking on the phone. She never made it home, and a week later her body was found in the woods. Wayne Couzens, a Metropolitan police officer, was charged with her kidnapping and murder. 

Everard’s death has sparked an outpouring of women taking to social media to share encounters of sexual assault and violence ranging from catcalls to rape to domestic abuse. The incident has instigated a flurry of media attention and political promises, all in the name of ending the epidemic of violence against women and girls in the UK. Women are tired of feeling unheard and raising their voices for change so that they can feel safe on the streets, in the workplace, and at home, only for nothing to change. 

Don’t ‘go out alone’

On the night Everard went missing and for the days that followed, police advised women in the area to be vigilant while the police investigation was under way to find her. The police told some women to “not go out alone.” 

In response, some have accused the police of perpetuating the idea that it is a woman’s job to protect herself, not a man’s job to keep his hands off of her. To be fair to the police, in the instance of an unsolved case of a missing person, they would have been concerned about harm befalling other women and had to act quickly to protect them as best as they knew how. 

But the door-to-door knocks from the police on local residents’ doors unleashed a fury from women tired of restricting their freedoms for the sake of men. Georgia Ladbury, of the Women’s Equality Party tweeted: “How about we urge men not to go out instead? Say a curfew at nightfall?” 

Her comment put voice to the thoughts of thousands of women, myself included, frustrated by how we are expected to dress more appropriately, carry keys for protection, talk on the phone, cross the street, and stay in well-lit areas — all to protect ourselves from men that may yell obscenities, whistle, touch, or hurt us. 

We are frustrated that it is always us — women — that have to address our behaviour to stay safe. A recent YouGov poll for UN Women found that over half of the women surveyed had experienced catcalling. Close to four out of 10 respondents had been groped or inappropriately touched. A third had been followed. And one in five had faced indecent exposure. 

The Office for National Statistics estimated that 3.4 million women in England and Wales had been victims of sexual assault, including rape or attempted rape, in their lives. And 1.6 million women in England and Wales were victims of domestic abuse in 2020. Women are tired of being scared, tired of constantly being alert to danger, and tired of carrying the responsibility of trauma. 

Women want to be heard. We want to be taken seriously when making claims of sexual harassment or abuse.

Widespread underreporting

Data from UN Women UK found that 95% of women who experienced harassment did not report their experiences because “they didn’t think it was serious enough to report” or “didn’t think it would help”. Women haven’t been taken seriously in the past, and the lack of police action dissuades them from reporting in the future. 

It isn’t just sexual harassment going unreported. An estimated 151,000 women were raped or faced attempted rape in 2017, the year the latest figures are available. Between 2019 and 2020, only 55,000 rape cases were reported to the police. Of those 55,000 incidents, only 2,102 were prosecuted, and only 1,439 people were convicted of rape. 

The lack of prosecutions and convictions could stem from an increasing amount of evidence to consider, such as evidence from phones and social media. If the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) decides there is enough evidence to charge a suspect with a crime, the case can go to court. Over the years, fewer referrals have been brought by the CPS, with fewer convictions. It’s thought that this may be a reaction to the number of unsuccessful convictions, but it isn’t entirely clear why the conviction rates have dropped. A review is due to launch to investigate the low rates, but no specifics of the review have been reported. 

Women are dissuaded from reporting because when they do, they are forced to surrender all their privacy and air their trauma — only to be met with a lack of  justice for the violence committed against them. 

We need more than empty assurances

Women also need support when they have faced violence. Ministers allotted £165 million ($229 million) for domestic abuse services in 2021-2022, even though it was estimated that £393 million ($545 million) was required. For women to feel empowered to leave dangerous situations, they need places of refuge to go to. Without appropriate funding, women and children will be turned away from safety because shelters are full. 

Women are angry, scared, and hurting right now. Everard’s death opened the floodgates of women who want to be heard, rather than told to “be better”. While the assurances of the police, the government, and the courts are courteous, they are worthless without actions to accompany them. 

One positive move is that Labour MP Stella Creasy is attempting to make misogyny a hate crime, ensuring that cases would be logged and monitored by police. It would send the message that women are entitled to live free from assault based on their sex and empower women to report harassment without fear they will be brushed off. 

But if we are going to address solutions to violence against women, we must acknowledge the root cause of violence against women — men. Men are the primary perpetrators of violence against women and their behaviour must be dealt with. 

It isn’t as simple as educating them about healthy relationships, although we should. It isn’t as easy as telling them to change how they act and speak to us, although they should. It isn’t even as easy as putting them in prison for longer, although maybe in some cases that would work. 

We need to know the origins and core beliefs of violence against women and attack it from its source, hopefully changing the tide and creating a safer world for women to live in. 

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